Me, You, and the Gatekeeper
I walked into my grandma’s house, took a seat at the dining room table not long before she sat in the seat across from me. She pulled up her chair, leaned in with a serious face and uttered, “Kris I'm about to tell you sum, and it’s between me, you, and the gatekeeper.” This was a recurring instance especially within the last 5 years. I would always brace myself, because you never know what will come out of grandma’s mouth. And the manner in which she communicated the news could either send me into cardiac arrest or make me laugh until my stomach hurts.
This term “me, you and the gatekeeper or gatepost” is “an expression used to tell someone that what you are about to say should be kept secret.” (Cambridge Dictionary) It’s one of those southern folklore sayings that I heard often throughout my childhood. I took those moments as another opportunity for me to learn more about my family’s history, often following grandma’s news with questions. Questions that would sometimes lead us into hour long conversations and sometimes debates about life. There’s one particular story that she shared with me about her upbringing, which included not finding out who her biological parents were until age 10. My follow up questions revealed a lot about the patterns of children being raised by older relatives, while their parents worked the fields back in the day.. I also remember her mother, my great grandmother telling me this story before she passed. I could tell by both of their demeanors that this subject brought up emotions that they would prefer not to revisit.
That story laid dormant in my mind until I came across a row of vibrant green plants lining the front and backside of grandma’s backyard gate. It baffled me because I’d never noticed it before and within weeks it bloomed the most beautiful orange lilies. It was a stunning sight to see the grandeur, the regal blend of sunlit amber flowers nestled in front of the earth brown gate. Lilies, a perennial flower, live for more than two years, blooming season after season. They return year after year, often with stronger and more extensive growth.
The flowers dominated the landscape around the gate almost as if they were guarding it, much like elders in our families guard those family secrets. I thought about the interconnectedness and the systemic relationship of perennials and families, and here’s what I concluded. Just as perennials return year after year, family secrets often resurface, impacting the lives and relationships of those who inherit them. Much like history in our families will continue to repeat itself until things that happened in the past are shared and healed. Perennials are known for their deep root systems that anchor them firmly in the soil, allowing them to draw nutrients and survive through various conditions. Similarly, family secrets are often deeply rooted in the past, hidden beneath the surface but influencing the present. These secrets can be buried for years, just as the roots of perennials lie hidden underground, unseen but vital to the plant's survival. Family secrets, even when unspoken, continue to affect descendants, creating an invisible thread that ties generations together.
On the brighter side, perennials speak to legacy and whatever we root or plant in the ground - we’ hope that it lasts forever. Lilies for example are even planted in memory of loved ones or to commemorate significant events. I think about what kind of legacy I want to leave and pass on to the next generation. It’s up to us on how we want to retell the stories. Understanding this interconnectedness can provide insight into the complexities of family dynamics and the ways in which the past shapes our lives. I choose to retell it through my art. Art has the unique ability to capture and convey the essence of our stories, making it a powerful medium for preserving family history. The two paintings that were created from this discovery hep to reflect the connection of perennials and family secrets, you not only acquire beautiful works of art but also invest in a means of passing down these stories through generations.
Become a collector of the Original Perennial Paintings Below
View the meditative process of Perennial Flowers 1 & 2